bonar crump

bonar crump
husband - father - reader - runner - picker - grinner - lover - sinner

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


I’m reading a book written by Jason Boyett called, O me of little faith: True Confessions of a Spiritual Weakling. The book acts as a testimony of sorts. It’s a well-reasoned collection of personal history used as a backdrop for explaining Jason’s doubts about the God and belief system of Christianity that’s been modeled for him his entire life. I don’t mean to imply that he blames anyone for the doubts he deals with, but he does feel compelled to explore the anomalies of his (and other’s) faith with an emphatic emphasis on asking “why?”

Why do we pray in such cryptic language? Why do we conjure up images of God which seem so paper-thin and flimsy? Why do we “sell” Jesus as a free gift or “get out of jail free card” only later to disclose that you’re gonna need to pay for the upgrades if you want to do this thing right? Why do we pit faith against logic and human experience in an attempt to rewrite all manners of time and space in a well-intentioned answer to the skeptics of “just because…that’s why”?

Here’s where I disagree with Jason: what he calls doubt in these situations I call honesty. His self-deprecating manner of presenting himself as a “spiritual weakling” seems very honest and forthright. His ability to untangle the spiritual knot in his life that is faith—doubt—understanding—self-evaluation—cosmic significance is an encouragement to us all to doubt. It is an encouragement to us all to be honest enough with ourselves to admit that a lot of what we’ve rubbed up against in contemporary organized religious circles CANNOT be from God.

My particular favorite section is about Jason’s struggle with the concept of prayer. I, too, don’t get what prayer is all about. If God is who He says He is then why do I need to be telling Him or asking Him anything? I never feel right praying for myself. It always feels like I’m using God as a Magic 8 Ball. Will someone give us an offer on the house this week? It is doubtful. Crap!

The message is clear…if you’re honest with your doubts and misgivings about your faith then you are asking the kinds of questions that will help you cast off the excessive garbage you’ve picked up along the way. That has to be a good thing. Whether you call it an “emergent” movement in the church or “postmodernism” it all translates into a generation of Christian believers that are honestly expressing their doubt in ways that are fundamentally enriching and controversially beneficial.

Thanks, Jason, for the cool read. My turtles rest on the outer rim of a black hole—there they wormhole through spacetime to wind up being connected to the top.  It’s a loop and I am the black hole. That’s the only way I can describe something that is without a beginning and without an end. You’ll have to read the book to understand what the hell I’m talking about…

I am ordering 4 more copies for friends today. Don't assume that you are one of the friends I'll be getting one for. Order one yourself.

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